Espresso and Earl Grey

Director: Jon Cassar

Stars: Greg Kinnear, Barry Pepper, Katie Holmes, Tom Wilkinson

So the Kennedy’s isn’t actually a film.  This is obvious.  However I’d go so far as to say it moved me more than a film has done in a very long time.  Some may argue that this is easier with a miniseries.  With over seven hours to work with, a lot more can be done.  Characters can be developed more and the story can shine.  All this is true, but as I haven’t actually heard much about it, I feel it deserves a quick plug.

The Kennedys is among the best historical miniseries in modern television, on par with Band of Brothers at all counts.  The actors and actresses are spot on and bring all the characters to life.  In addition, the directing is straight and to the point and makes full use of the talent.

If even half of what was presented was true, I really don’t know my own history (which is par for the course in America since a lot of people still think the moon landing was faked).  I had no idea that JFK was such a ladies man, or that he was on amphetamines, or any of it.  The interaction with Joe Kennedy Sr. is fascinating to see.  (And I didn’t know dear Marilyn Monroe was tangled up with Jackie K.)

Despite being a miniseries and therefore being longer than a film, it feels like a film in length and camera work.  Nothing is wasted and therefore emphasizes the drama and issues excellently.  It is refreshing to see a JFK piece that doesn’t focus solely on the Cuban Missile Crisis or the assassination at the end.

If I had one flaw to point out, it’s the final episode.  It centers around Bobby Kennedy and, of course, ends with his assassination.  The episode is rushed and really didn’t need to be included I feel.  They could have done a tasteful montage of Bobby getting killed, and talk about the lives of the other Kennedys.  There were, I learned, a lot of them (Bobby had 10 kids…wtf).  Anyway.  Basically the last episode could have been reduced to the final scene where Jackie O is praying for RFK and JFK.  It’s sad and moving and, I feel, shows a great strength.  It’s a beautiful scene that sums up the last episode better than the episode does, if that makes sense.

Brief, yes.  But I’m also tired of this right now.  Don’t know why.  It’s odd.  It’s an excellent series, and it did move me, but when it comes to writing a plug for it I’m suddenly out of ideas.  Strange.  Could just be my laziness, or the rush to get this out since I haven’t updated in a long time…

Ok I know I don’t have too many followers but I still feel that I owe them an apology.  I’ve been sick lately and struggling to keep track of my school work.  I promise I’ll try to put up my plug for the Kennedys soon.

Sorry about the lunacy.

Alex

Director: James Kerwin

Writer: James Kerwin

Stars: Kipleigh Brown, Chase Masterson, John Newton

Another neo-noir tale filled with delightful clichés?  Well, yes.  But that isn’t the point.  Yesterday was a Lie is, in fact, actually quite a smart little story with some refreshing elements of more modern movies that , taken together, really make something special.  It’s relatively low budget, not the best of acting, but overall the effect is delightful and good to watch.

The nonlinearity of the plot, or the appearance of nonlinearity, lends to the plot well and keeps the theme of the film on track.  We see Hoyle (Kipleigh Brown) trying to solve a case that keeps her crackpot noir mind up at night.  All the while she also tried to find her former romance Dodis (John Newton).  During her free time Hoyle frequents a small bar where a mysterious lounge singer (Chase Masterson) leads Hoyle to suspect everything isn’t entirely as it seems.

As the film progresses the nature of the world as a whole seems to become more and more skewed all somehow revolving around Hoyle.  Yet as the film concludes, we the audience is left without a definitive answer.  While the smacks of a less than thought out finale, it fits well with the story thus far and leaves with a sense of grace.

It’s a simple tale, to be fair not the best thought out.  However there’s a magic to it that transcends notions and impresses the viewer despite any preconceptions.  A worthy film in spite of everything and worth a look should you want a noir tribute worthy of the genre.

Director: James Cameron

Writer: James Cameron

Stars: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Stephan Lang, Michelle Rodriguez, Joel David Moore, Giovanni Ribisi, Sigourney Weaver

Avatar, a term in Hinduism referring to a deliberate decent of a deity from heaven.  In Hinduism there are literally lists of avatars of various deities, though they generally revolve around the big guy Vishnu and are considered a really big deal.

In modern terms, an avatar is one of those cute little pictures of characters people have online to mask their true identity/appearance.  Some sites, like Gaia online, have popularity contests over them while some sites allow for a little less “wholesome” uses for them.

So how am I supposed to respond when faced with a film call Avatar?  My first though went immediately to “Avatar: The Last Airbender,” an excellent if childish series proving that sometimes (and only sometimes) America can do something right.  So I decided to look into it (and by that I mean look at a poster) and realized that was not the case.

I eventually saw the film several months after its release and after enough of my friends had orgasmed.  (And no I didn’t see it in IMAX 3D, omg).  And to tell the truth, I only had one thought.

Well that was a waste of time.

Ok ok that’s a little unfair but I’m pretty damn certain it wasn’t as good as the decent of a Hindu deity.

Let’s get the good over with first.

Sigourney Weaver, love.  Seriously, best talent in this movie, not that that’s very hard.

Um…yep that’s about it.

Seriously, I have no idea why people creamed themselves over this.  The film reeks of the cookie cutter and you can still see the lines.  Oh yes people bang on about “Anti-corporation messages” and shit but here’s the fact (and I know I’m not the first one to say this), it’s fucking Pocahontas with Blue People, Dances With Aliens, Ferngully(ET Version), pick whatever of the dozen films like it that have come before it.  I know that original stories seem to frighten the majority of the idiots that make up the majority of the population, but tough shit for them.

Main problems:

First comes the premise.  As the above stated Pocahontas example, there’s really nothing that interesting about this world.  A bunch of greedy white dudes (and yes it’s only white dudes as though they’re trying to imply that only white dudes want to wreck people’s shit) go to an alien planet with angry natives because they’re stealing their resources and messing things up.  My god, that sounds familiar to anyone who learned history (which sadly really isn’t too many these days.)

The ex marine whatever idiot (ex in that he’s a cripple) is given a shiny new body that lets him interact with the world around him which he interprets as making him a spy to bring about the end of the natives.  Because as we all know, the marines suck and are only ever douchebags who want to shoot things.  But lo and behold the local chief’s daughter falls for him or he falls for her or whatever (the chemistry sucks) and he realizes that CRIME DOES NOT PAY, or mabye INDUSTRIALIZATION DOES NOT PAY, whatever.  From that point he decides to cast off his human body (you know, the one he’s had all his life) and join the natives in a life of wholesomeness…

Bonus negative, there’s no reason proper given for the humans even being there.  “Unobtainium” (I’ll note used already in a different movie that is somehow less of a joke then) a magical (magical! It floats holy shit!) metallic substance that sells for a mint back on Earth.  Why?  Good fucking question.  Must be like, gold or something.  No reason is given for its importance.  You’d think by the time humanity is going to other planets we’d have better things to do.

Second: Characters

Aside from the above Sigourney Weaver example, these characters are awful.  Sully (Sam Worthington) isn’t as bad as he could be, but it’s pretty weaksauce overall.  He’s a punk, which fits I suppose, and to his credit he pulls of the role well.  The problem is that he’s completely generic.  He’s a combination of the human/non-native of a dozen different movies and really has no personality of his own.  It borders on good when we start seeing the double life start to get to Sully.  His inability to differentiate his own life is reasonably interesting while it lasts.  If the film ended or at least explored the idea, it would have been much better.  But quelle surprise, it gets covered up by righteousness and other bullshit.

The only really interesting sympathetic characters are Sigourney Weaver’s and Michelle Rodriguez’s character.  They’re actually interesting and reasonably well characterized (impressive since Rodriguez is in the film for maybe 10 minutes total before dying.)  All of the main characters reek of such a committee design it’s painful to watch.  Literally nothing interesting happens throughout the course of the story.

But the biggest issue, the greatest and most terrible ass of the film is the aliens themselves.  Let’s run down the list.

Cat people: Bipedal humanioids with blue skin.  Groundbreaking.  But they have four fingers or something and long ponytails that house their spines, great evolutionary step.  And what the fuck is with the boobies?  Yeah they aren’t big but they’re also covered up in the same position as they are with humans.  And cocks, even the ass is identical.  Christ they’re just neko people and to me it looks like they just came from a rave at a local con.  There’s nothing interesting or even that different about them.

Flying Beasties (whatever the tit they’re called): The most original of the animals on Pandora, not that that’s saying much.  They’re pterodactyls with four wings.  Brilliant concept work there guys.  Still better than,

Rhino Things: Combination of a rhinoceros and a hammerhead shark, different, but still obvious and pointless.  They serve no function other than a deus ex machina and that’s it.  No sign of what they mean or how they evolved in dense forest environment.  Yeah, big fucking animals don’t usually do too well in dense forests.

Panther: A black panther crossed with a frilled lizard.  Or a flower or something.  These make more sense of the environment, dense forests lend themselves well to things like this.  Overall probably the most logical creature though still makes no sense.  If it’s a totally alien world, why are they literally just panthers?

Horses: Horses crossed with, well horses.  Oh but they have six legs they must be original and innovative.

James, I know you’re better than this.  Terminator, the Abyss, Aliens for Christ sake.  You wrote and directed True Lies in addition to all of these.  Some of the best films of modern time.  You can’t actually think these are good ideas.

Here’s the worst part.  There’s going to be two more of these things.  The logic is sadly undeniable.  I mean this thing made more money than Belgium.  But what are you going to show?  What else is there to the story?  Here’s what I want to happen.

Avatar 2: The humans come back, better equipped than before and start another war with the Na’vi.  The Na’vi are forced to the brink and the film ends with a tragic cliffhanger.

Avatar 3: The Na’vi fight back with their all with all of the favorite characters doing epic climactic full orchestra with a Latin choir blasting dramatic music battles with the humans, some of them dying poignant deaths to spur the survivors on.  Then the humans nuke the planet from orbit and force the Na’vi into camps (or reservations) and mine to their hearts content because of their technological superiority.  Anything that resists is killed instantly.  Bonus points if the Na’vi are enslaved.

I’d pay to see that.

But no it’ll probably be some unconvincing bullshit with a few deus ex machinas sprinkled in because they know that there is not realistic way for primitive aliens to beat orbital bombardments.  It’s not a good sign when I start rooting for the bad guys because I want harsh realities.

Yeah, let’s review native history.  Europeans came over, started raping and killing the Native Americans.  Native Americans fight back.  Native Americans kill an idiot and have a victory (Custer’s last stand).  Native Americans are nearly wiped out by the US army and still suffer indignities and cultural oblivion to the present day.

So where are we in this pattern in Avatar?  Oh yeah step two.  Bring on step 3!  Seriously, the humans are mining anyway and would enjoy less indigenous life forms trying to kill them in their work.  Plus, less forest cover reveals the juicy ore below.

So why was this movie more popular than god?  It was pretty I guess, if you find no real environments pretty.  And I have no doubt it was a pain in the ass to make.  I can’t get GIMP to work much less fully render an entire movie.  But is that all people really want?  To be shown a series of pretty things without any coherent or interesting framework.  I’d be more kind if there was a teaspoon more depth, but there just isn’t.  It’s just 2+ hours of movie.  Empty space.  Call me old fashioned but I want a story I can get lost in and enjoy.  I just got lost in Avatar and I’m glad I found the exit.  They had a lot going for them, but it just fell apart the more terribly written lines came out.

In short, it looks like a gigantic intro cinematic and I couldn’t skip it.  Am I bitter?  Maybe.  But I don’t give a fuck.  I want more than a series of shiny objects in my movies.

“Ghandi said that whatever you will do in life will be insignificant, but it’s very important that you do it.”

Director: Allen Coulter

Writer: Will Fetters

Stars: Robert Pattinson, Emilie de Ravin, Chris Cooper, Lena Olin, Pierce Brosnan, Martha Plimpton, Tate Ellington, Ruby Jerins

R Pat has become, let’s be honest, a joke.  Edward Cullen is, in short, the single worst thing that’s happened to literature in a very long time.  This naturally transfers the terrible character to the big screen and what appears to be utterly shitty acting on the part of R Pat.  Seriosuly, when I saw New Moon, I thought he had been lobotomized.  There was just nothing there, period (besides an obsessive misogynist abusive husband character).

However, things are not as simple as they may seem.  I’ll explain.

I saw Remember Me for one reason.  Emilie de Ravin.  She is one of my favorite young actresses period and if she was good in Brick, I had no doubt I would love her in this.  There was a problem though.  Robert Pattinson.  I assumed it would be the same utter shit acting I had seen in the Twilight bullshit (seen for free at the campus union with a group of friends mocking every line of course.  I’d never pay to see that).  But I just had to see Emilie.

Summarily, I was blown away.  The film was smart, tragic, infinitely well-paced, and incredibly well acted on all parts.  There was a significant focus on existentialism which I have had bouts with on and off for years and the ending blew my mind.  It was also iron clad proof that you literally can’t do anything with shitty material.

To explain.

Robert Pattinson’s character Tyler is a college student struggling to overcome the death of his brother Michael.  Along the way he butts heads with his father (Pierce Brosnan), a powerful business man having been nonexistent in his children’s lives.  Meanwhile, Tyler’s younger sister (Ruby Jerins) tries to be happy and gain the approval of her friends and biological father.

In the process of his internal conflicts, Tyler meets Ally (Emilie de Ravin), another student.  She gives Tyler something to believe in and the two fall in love.  Despite the conflicts, the two pick up the pieces and maintain a good relationship.  The dynamics between all of the characters is wonderful to watch and a joy to see progress and evolve.  While some parts are a fair bit ham handed and contrived, overall the relationships are believable and well developed.

The shame is I can’t say any more due to spoilers, but I will just say the last sequence, at first confused me.  I recalled the beginning of the film over and over again, set at an arbitrary time (1991).  In a rush the sequence took my breath away.  I recall, sitting with my friend watching it, realizing the meaning of the date moments before my suspicions were confirmed.  It was a tragic ending that came about brilliantly.  I was guessing until the end and I was rewarded for my investment.

Overall, the film proved one thing without a doubt.  Reputation of an actor or an actress should not paint your opinion of a film by them.  Like I said, I disliked R Pat with a passion after Twilight bs.  Those films are such a poor example of his talent so as not to be believed (and no I don’t remember HP4 so don’t bother).  Assumptions have robbed me of many movie experiences.  That’s not to say that some assumptions aren’t true.  I assumed that Step Brothers would be terrible, and I was right.  However sometimes you can find really quality films if you put assumptions aside.  I was rewarded, hopefully you can find the same experience.